Monday, September 14, 2009

Canadian Parliament Returns Sept. 14

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House Of Commons Theatre Returns

September 14 will see the opening act of the House of Commons Theatre in the Canadian capital city of Ottawa Ontario.

Looking all refreshed and rested up after a summer of hob knobbing with Canadians coast to coast, the Canadian Parliamentary Theatre Troupe has cast an air of suspense over their first presentation.

The opposition has threatened to drop the curtain on this play at the earliest opportunity, which of course is impossible without help from other cast members.

The plot thickens as you wonder if the opposing troupes will once again insist on spending $300,000,000.00 to have another election in less than one year or whether all this election talk is smoke and mirrors.

Writers have been busy behind the scenes all summer crafting clever one liners perfectly designed for the five second sound bite, which incidentally is the attention span of most Canadians when it comes to listening to elected officials.

Get your tickets early, make some popcorn and pull up an easy chair, the first act could be a doosie, or perhaps like most shows, if you have seen the trailer, you have seen the best part already !

Stephen " The Piano Man " Harper

Much to the concern of the Liberals, Stephen has proven he is not really the boogie man Canadians need to fear.

His character hopes this revelation will allow his troupe to form a majority government the next time the people of Canada are asked for their opinion.

His official summer-line has been that neither he, nor any Canadians he has talked to want to go back to the polls this year. He is only interested in getting on with the business of continuing to lead Canada through the current economic turmoil.

The audience can only speculate on whether he is not secretly hoping the Liberals and the Socialists and the Separatists will force an unpopular election on the Canadian public, who will in turn punish the opposition and return him and his party with a majority.

Michael "The Professor" Ignatieff, aka "Iggy".

Famous pre-summer fighting lines: " If you mess with me, I will mess with you, until I'm done." This is perhaps Harvard slang with which most Canadians are not too familiar.

Recently at a Liberal meeting in Sudbury he perhaps was rehearsing for a Popeye role: "I've stands all I can stands, and I can't stands no more Mr. Harper, you have failed on four key points, so now I will blow you down at the first opportunity ...... where's me spinach Olive".

Jack " Man of All The People " Layton

Jack has been studiously keeping score of the number of times the Liberals have supported the Tories, proving his point he is the only different one.

Currently his script writers are busy at the spinning wheel crafting lines to show why his support of the Tories is different than the Liberal support of the Tories.

Gilles " Viva Quebec Libre" Duceppe

The only man who has absolutely no aspirations or delusions of becoming the lead actor in this play.

Only in Canada would an author cast a part giving other Canadian's funds to a group who desire to break up the country. Less civilized countries hang such people as traitors accusing them of treason. But the play put on by the Canadian Parliament is no ordinary play. Plot and character twists and turns abound.

That is how they were first written in, they have however recently been cast as a very effective 'majority killer' in La Belle Province who have the appearance of gaining Parliamentary favour for the people who don't want to be Canadian anyway.

The Tories and Liberals do everything they possibly can to secure Quecbec votes, they give them so much that Western Canadians think about separating themselves.

Of course Monsieur Dueceppe always is able to get credit for the benefits coming from Ottawa even though his party had nothing to do with it.

Only in Canada ehh!!


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